InsaneJournal

Current mood:	DOWN
Current music:	SLIPPIN' » dmx

...Body Bags...

His name was Leonard Goode, but we all knew him as Leo, or Rocky. The kid had that drive about him. Like Stallon in all of his flicks, Leo did it mega big like that. We used to shoot hoops during middle school, highschool, and the small afterschool leagues. His mom used to freak off with my dad so you can imagine the stories about how we used to kick it at his moms when I was younger. Nice woman. Wished my mom was like her. She knew about what a parent was about and worked double hard to provide for her sons. One of them being Leo. The kid was prahlee about two years older than myself so I could identify with his maturity at the time. Unlike his older brother, Leo wanted to be a proballer. His dream was almost there until an injury caused that to shatter. Instead of hustling backwards like his older brother did, he went off to a school in Atlanta. Everyone was rooting for ole boy, especially myself. I seen a piece of Benny in that cat, so much that I appreciated the dude more. Real talented besides the smarts he held. That was about three years ago and now? Homie just recently flatlined. It blew my mind knowing about that. This was suppose to be a man doing right by his family, his girl, and his inherited kids. All in a turn around black is gone? Got me messed up for minute because this is a person I personally knew, feel me? By no means were we close, tight knit but we kept in contact. Damn. The good die young. That's the reality of some places, especially where we come from. It was crazy explaining this to Poppo when I reached his place this evening. Pulling in that long shift from this morning until the afternoon, I wasn't expecting to push bodies today. Those are rare cases since I haven't been working at the hospital for a long time. Once or twice I had to export one body to the morgue. I do not care who you are, how strong you can stomach that, but it is never easy. It can't be unless you have the ability to turn off that human emotion. Can you imagine how his familia is doing right now? Actually analyze how they're taking this all in? It's unthinkable really. I feel that his mom took it the worse. Only because she believed that he was going to not be the one like his brother. Word going about is that some cats mistook him for his brother who's been running in and out the game. Homie always asked for a death wish from the shit he was up to. I'm still shocked it wasn't him instead of Leo. But seriously, Leo? That's all I could ask was if this was truly real. Sad truth is that, it is real. It does not get realer than that. I had to take about an hour break after that just to collect myself before I got too deep with the issue.


Sitting in the lounge for a moment I zoned out to some sitcom to help it out. Then attempted to work on some drawing studies. Couldn't expect much from that when the energy was dark. The assignment wasn't coming out like it should have. That's crazy, man. So I asked to leave early. Faked sick. Got to my Pop's place to see my son. That was possibly the thing I looked forward to, besides my Pops going off and ready to pack up if you know what I mean. I went to chill in the living room with Taj and we chillaxed there for a minute until he fell asleep. I try to do the same but lost my connection with it because that lost was still looming since I was that close. You can't pretend like you never been near a lifeless body before. It's no surprise right there. The only surprise is the person sleeping in that bag. The tags just did it for me right there. I'm just glad that some people wisened up and stopped doing the things they did. But sometimes that's never promised. Not with innocents dropping as if they were the ones who were beefing with some fake gangster. That experience is one and only one I fight hard to work my way out of the bullshit. It's not worth much at the end of the day. Not when a life is worth more. Actually it's priceless so why go disposing of that? You know what I mean? That's someone's son, brother, and the rest. If I was dude's brother then that should be that wake up call. Again, people don't catch the drift when it's right there in their face. Up close and personal. Let's remove from that because it's bothering me right now to even continue with that. There's not much else to write about besides the countdown to spring break. I can't afford to go travel off like most students my age. A few day trips might could work but I have a job so it's sticky to plan something. I might take Taj some place. I have to be up on the research about that really. YMCA will def' see my face more frequently so I can bend ankles and catch money from that. One cat I met the last time I hooped it up. Was dumb mad that the other cat with all the mouth caught the flex when he tried taking the pot. He learned then not to get between a nigga and his money. I should see if this kid's mom will do what she needs to do but it's a large doubt that she'll be stepping around.


I can't speak on that issue since it boils me to explain. I get the praises most times whenever I'm out with Taj, and that is fine with me. Only if these people knew what I had and still have to deal with on a daily basis. By all means it is not an easy job. I'm thankful forever, that some sane ones in my fam help me. If not I really do not know what I would do. There were those times when I just wanted to quit. Stop but who will my mans depend on? It can't be his moms. She's unreliable and that's point blank period. Nothing else to speak of. I should coast off this and get the shut eye. Damn shame. One.