InsaneJournal

...Sink or Swim...

This is how it goes for the zero-nine. As the times move faster than you can pick up on, you have the choice to either fall with the mach speeds or get left behind. Those were the options that presented themselves smack dab in my face. As much as I would like to keep it kosher with retaining my courses, working, and being a papo, one had to get dropped. To that unfortunately, school was left behind. Since that decision had been made to pull out, my dad wanted to break those bones within my neck. Hey, I can always get into classes this summer at some artsy fartsy school here in the big apple. When I get to that, I'll get to that but for the current I need to associate myself with the lack of puss in my life. Serious as a heart attack. I'm dying over here, and Tatyana's skank bop' of a friend acting as if I can't put it down. Yo, give me some credit. My rap is never on whack, and she was lucky I approached her with some sort of respect given she has none for herself if she hangs out with Yaya. That's the sis' and all but we all know who she is and what she is about. M.O.E. That's all she cares to live for. On one hand I don't blame her because we all have to get in where we fit in, but be more creative and less slutty about getting your ends, feel me? My bad for being so open but isn't this what a journal is for? My points exactly. It was something tough leaving behind mi familia back home but I have the rest out here. Odd as it sounds, I'm in love with the girl next door. Well let's pretend I am. Really I just want to spend the night at her place. Rewind. I don't want to get to know her at all but smash and then leave after. It is that severe. I've been good, though. Behavior wise. Left the drinking because my stomach is weak off those shots. Spilling your breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner does not cut it. Sad times but it's the next best thing to turn to when life gets heavy. It has been but that's what happens. Rolling back, I have to recall the craziness that was going on back home. Such as the funeral for the boy Leo. Pop and his peoples helped out Leo's moms with that service. It was a strong presence of people there that is always expected, you know?


After the services I partially helped with hooking up a memorial of sorts at the spot he caught that slug. It was a hang out near the old projects we used to end up shooting ball. I think that place is being tore down anyways from the bad shape it was in but yeah, it took me about a week to sketch out the concept for it and one of my classmates did what it do on the spray paint tip. It came out tight, but yeah my ace is missed like that. His girl and her kids were thinking about moving back to Chicago just to be with his moms but I'm not too sure about that. Sad sad. That grieving period is rather cold to even withstand so I know how they're doing. I called back a few days ago just to see how they were holding up. Moving on. This move is possibly temp but who knows? Harlem shows love depending if you show it back and Tio Ruben opened up his spot because I'm good like that. Since I reached out here, I've just been working and helping little man get situated but you can tell he's indifferent about the move. Somewhat becoming a recluse but is live whenever I get home or Tio's youngest stops by. She's only what like fourteen? So he needs to be around other kids. This daycare situation is driving me into a wall. Around this year, most slots are filled up. Some places are ran out of their homes and I'm not trusting of that. That's just how I am. So I'm real into digging up info on where my son gets placed where he'll be chilling for hours while I work, feel me? For now he's either here with my sister or with Tio's wifey. On that note, she be looking right for an older woman. Eek my bad. Focus, man. Keep focus. I guess I'll have to use up my next day off in order to see about a few places she referred me to.


Work is work. I have to provide some way, and that's on two incomes at the moment. Tio's spot and at Footlocker. I enjoy rocking to the latter but it isn't a career choice. Feel me? In the upcoming months, I should have a stack to pay for some credits. Possibly see about getting aide transferred to a different school since I just ended the semester voluntarily. Sometimes I think that could have been a dumb choice but what can you do? It should pay off eventually and it is not like I'll be putting off a higher education to waste away my life. It's not like that at all so I can do better with this newer situation. Whatev', back to what was started on in the first place. I believe in warning someone when I'm about to make it happen but there's no telling how Ashley will front on me. She acts like she doesn't hook up on the regular when I know she does. Easy. Piece of cake but yo, I need to see about this phone call. One.